“How do I speak up and be the change when I’m the only woman in the room?” a young woman at Clemson University wanted to know. “Especially when so many dudes are ready to shout me down?” This question planted the seed that grew into Unladylike, the book.

Caroline Ervin and I had just delivered a keynote on imposter syndrome, but this engineering major had an important, patriarchy-sized question that we didn’t quite know how to answer. We offered her some “hang in there!” encouragement but couldn’t shake the sense that something was missing in our feminist canon. Where was the handy guide to holistically address what top-to-bottom, inside-out inclusive feminist living could look like in action?

We needed real-life, practical advice, in addition to historical and cultural context as to why things are the way they are in the first place. That’s why we envisioned Unladylike as a field guide for identifying, understanding and uprooting the creepy, crawly sexist species women and girls encounter throughout society’s ecosystem — and reclaiming the space in a world that doesn’t take them seriously.

Through Unladylike, we strived to identify and dismantle white feminism, while acknowledging that we’re a couple of white feminists who wrote it. In addition to featuring a diverse range of luminaries, loudmouths and low-key geniuses, the book also pushes beyond the typical feminist narratives and platforms. In addition to glass ceilings, for instance, readers learn about glass walls, escalators and cliffs; the beauty chapter contours in colorism, class and queerness. Our reproductive coverage spans childcare and forced sterilization, along with abortion rights. But we didn’t drop our readers into this patriarchal jungle without some great tools like a pocket privilege-checker, self-worth Swiss army knife and intersectional binoculars to enrich the experience.

Each chapter contains its own mini-safari through the interlocking identities and experiences of women’s social, political and economic currencies. By also presenting menstruation as the Periodic Table, feminine gender ideals as the Ladylike Matrix, slut-shaming as a taxonomy, Unladylike invites readers to engage with the subjects in novel ways and glean at-a-glance insight — and they have!

We've heard from a teen inspired by the field guide to start a feminism club at her high school. From a dad who bought it to read with his son. And from a young woman who, like that Clemson engineering major, had felt drowned out by the boys until the field guide arrived like a liferaft.

Unladylike: A Field Guide to Smashing the Patriarchy & Claiming Your Space